Hurtful words

shes not mine and you know it. maybe youll have a better chance with one of the many guys that you fucked while i was gone.

say hi to the state for me, im sorry but i realy dont think she is mine. and its not like you werent fucking anyone else besides me, i dont even belive that you only fuck the old bald guy i am willing to bet u fucked at least 5 differant pepole when i was gone. how about you see if they look like her.

send the paper work i dont think that i should pay for a kid that isent mine and i might be an asshole right now but your a hore and thats always been the problem.
you never had respect for me. if you had given me the respect that i deserve you wouldent have fucked god knows who when i went away for 6 weeks and then got knocked up by one of the many and now you dont know who the fatther is so your only hope is that its mine cause you priobly dident even ask the guys name cause "you were drinking" and fucked the first guy that showed intrest the veary night we broke, my only regret is letting you get close to me cause i should have know you were just like the rest......... but who fucking knows maybe is me, i realy dont care anymore. and if you think im being an asshole i dont care cause women just like you made me this way, maybe if you want a nice guy you should stop trying to fuck them over.

Danee Grimes: The only reason I want to get the paternity test done is so that I can prove to you that you are the father. I want nothing to do with you and you will have nothing to do with her.
Dick: well i still dont belive that shes mine
Danee Grimes: That's fine.
Danee Grimes: I really don't care if you do
Dick: but if you dicide to tell her that im her dad the u better get prof
Danee Grimes: Josh is her dad. She will never know her father.
Dick: probly not
Dick: but what when shes older
Dick: she will find out on her own
Dick: every one does
Danee Grimes: I'll tell her when she's older and I will make sure she knows you didn't want her
Dick: well thats up to u if i thought there was even a chance she was mine than i would want to see her so if you insist all claming me the father then best let her know that u dont know for sure
Danee Grimes: I'll have the test. It will be done.
Dick: k
Dick: well i guess ill let you go
Dick: catch ya latter
Danee Grimes: Yeah whatever.
Dick (8/12/2007 3:24:31 AM): hello
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:24:36 AM): hi
Dick (8/12/2007 3:24:55 AM): so how are u
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:25:03 AM): alive
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:25:34 AM): and you?
Dick (8/12/2007 3:25:41 AM): and kicking
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:26:14 AM): sounds like a party...without the balloons
Dick (8/12/2007 3:26:32 AM): so what u been up to
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:26:50 AM): workin, sleeping, taking care of the kids
Dick (8/12/2007 3:27:29 AM): yep
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:28:09 AM): that's pretty much my day in day out
Dick (8/12/2007 3:28:19 AM): yeah
Dick (8/12/2007 3:28:28 AM): not much here
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:29:15 AM): so i heard aundrea and brian aren't together anymore
Dick (8/12/2007 3:29:33 AM): yeah
Dick (8/12/2007 3:30:01 AM): they and i meen she dicided it wasent working
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:30:42 AM): oh well. wasn't meant to be i guess
Dick (8/12/2007 3:30:45 AM): i love cancer
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:31:12 AM): cancer is wonderful
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:31:56 AM): did you get the email i sent you?
Dick (8/12/2007 3:32:09 AM): for the pics yes
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:33:45 AM): when they finally send me the fuckin paper work that they seem to want to take their own sweet time in sending, i'll be sending it to you.
Dick (8/12/2007 3:33:59 AM): ok
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:35:08 AM): I want to ask you a very serious question.
Dick (8/12/2007 3:35:15 AM): ok
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:36:04 AM): If she's yours would you be willing to sign papers giving up your parental rights?
Dick (8/12/2007 3:36:18 AM): i dont know
Dick (8/12/2007 3:36:48 AM): maybe on some condisions
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:36:56 AM): what conditions?
Dick (8/12/2007 3:37:37 AM): when she is old enuf she is told about me that i exsist and would like to meet her
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:38:59 AM): That is something i'd have to think long and hard about.
Dick (8/12/2007 3:39:09 AM): k
Dick (8/12/2007 3:39:18 AM): thats my point
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:39:33 AM): what do you mean that's your point?
Dick (8/12/2007 3:40:54 AM): if she is mine the only way i would do that is if u realy wanted that and i would want her to know me when she turned 18
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:41:53 AM): what's the point if you aren't going to be in her life. That is the whole point of giving up your parental rights
Dick (8/12/2007 3:42:35 AM): you dont think she would want to know?
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:43:01 AM): As far as i'm concerned she'd never have to know.
Dick (8/12/2007 3:44:40 AM): i think she would
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:47:56 AM): There is no reason for her to ever know.
Dick (8/12/2007 3:48:26 AM): well thats the condishion i would want
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:49:35 AM): Her birthday is next month.
Dick (8/12/2007 3:49:42 AM): ok
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:53:08 AM): What are you going to tell her when she asks why you weren't there?
Dick (8/12/2007 3:53:39 AM): about me and her heritage
Dick (8/12/2007 3:54:35 AM): if she asks about us ill just say that was a long time ago
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:55:09 AM): did you look at the pictures?
Dick (8/12/2007 3:55:23 AM): yes she looks the same to me
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:56:30 AM): I think she looks just like you.
Dick (8/12/2007 3:57:34 AM): ok well we'll see
Danee Grimes (8/12/2007 3:57:54 AM): I'm going to bed now. Ttyl.

04-24-07

It's another one of those days. She sits in the McDonalds on Lancaster and wants to pass out. She didn't go to bed the night before because she had to get up early this morning to go to an appointment just to find out that she didn't even need to be there. Since she had other things to do she decided to go and get them done rather than doing what she wanted to do which was go home and sleep for a week. After she is done she may be able to go home and sleep a bit but its very doubtful because she has two little demon children she has to take care of. The poor noodle was coughing all night and the spawn is hyperactive and about ready to explode. One good thing this week is she gets to start working. (*hopefully*) Her oldest younger sister is turning 17 today. It makes her feel old just thinking about it. She sometimes just wants to go back to the good old days when things were so much simpler. The only kids she ever had to take care of back then weren't her own so she had a bit more freedom. (*kissing gets you pregnant*)
The past couple months have been the best and the worst. The puppy eyed ex seems to have made out a vendetta against her for things beyond her control. The horrible names and accusations he made hurt her more than him practically sloughing off his duty to his child. When he came to visit he was all for taking the paternity test. In the two weeks he was back home his mind changed dramatically and he denied his daughter. She couldn't believe the words that he said to her over the emails sent. (*When are you gonna send me your address?* *I don't see why, she's not mine and you know it* *No I don't know it and neither do you. Stop being a pussy ass mother fucker and take the test.*) The name calling and viciousness ensued and his words angered and hurt her. And so she vowed that he would pay for this injustice that he wrought upon her and the noodle. That was probably the worst part of the past couple months.
The best part was when she started hanging out with the milk man more. His sweet words and deeds have helped her rise above the past and start anew. He makes her feel happy, sexy, loved and safe. They started hanging out around christmas, talking and having the occasional escapade every so often till it became clear to them both that the relationship they had was more than just friends with benefits and the escapades became more often than not.

Here’s how my day went. I got up at 8:15 to take cans and bottles back so that I would have bus money to get to Steve’s court date on time. We ended up getting a ride from Michelle after dropping off Koban at 9:30. At 10:30 we piled into the car and drove to the courthouse downtown. We sat on a bench for about 20 minutes waiting for his lawyer to arrive. Then we sat another hour before we actually went into the court room. The D.A. was a total bitch. (then again aren’t they all?) Judge Rhoades sent Steve to prison for 18 months. I spent the rest of the day cleaning and rearranging and trying not to go crazy. They wouldn’t even let me say goodbye to him.

She sits at her computer listening to Mad World because it reminds her of the puppy eyed ex but she's thinking about the remote thief. He left the day before and said he'd be back that night . He still hasn't shown up and she worries that he got picked up for his warrant or that he just felt like disappearing and won't be back for a while. It saddens her because she feels strongly for her sweet sexy remote thief. She wants to call it love but she's afraid to. As she's writing he rings the door bell and she feels much better. She missed him for many different reasons. She has been wearing his shirt since yesterday. She's super horny and all he seems to want to do is sleep. How sad she thinks and opens another Dr. Pepper. But at least he's here and not in jail. The thought makes her feel a little better but she still wants to just jump his bones and have hot and wild. Unfortunatly he doesn't seem the least bit interested. Oh well...I may just have to wait till I wake up in a few hours.

12-12-06

He must have gotten scared off. I was wearing his shirt all day and maybe he's worried I'm obsessing. The remote thief left again yesterday morning after they had sex. She wonders if maybe he found a real girlfriend rather than the pretend girlfriend she seems to be. Hoping she didn't scare him off she worries that he is running away from her like her girlfriend said he would. Her girlfriend has been friends with him for years and told her that he falls hard and then runs like he's afraid of being in love. When he doesn't come back when he says he will she's afraid he's doing just that, running away...but the fear of him being picked up scares her even more. Yes she wants him to take care of the things he needs to but she also wants him to be able to spend the holidays with his family and his nights sharing her bed. It's not just the sex (the fucking awesome sex) she wants but she also enjoys his company. Having him around makes her feel safe. She hates not having a man in the house. Taking care of herself is not a problem, she can hold her own if she has to. But there is something about having a male present that makes her feel that security she so desperatly needs. She lies in bed thinking about him and worrying about him. Thoughts of sex lights (cause you know when you see them someone is getting fucked) and sirens fill her mind and then thoughts of him with someone else makes her sad. As he said before Too bad you're married. (in the words of Sandra Bullock, You think I'm gorgeous, you wanna date me, you wanna kiss me...) Then again he is too. The skank, unworthy to bear and have his children, is still his wife unfortunatly for him. As her girlfriend put it, I hate that bitch with a bloody fucking passion. (My sentiments exactly and i don't even know the skank.) She wishes he was here right now lying beside her with his strong arms holding her. When he's with her she knows he's not in jail or with someone else. When he's with her she knows that he is hers if only for the time he's there. She misses him.
The oldest teeny tiny broke out in a fever yesterday morning and told her she had a headache. So she gave her some children's tylenol and checked her temp every half hour or so but it kept climbing. When it got up to 103 she decided it was time to take her teeny tiny to the urgent care center so she called her surrogate mother to take them. Three hours later she had a prescription for amoxocillan and a miserable little girl. The strep throat she had a couple weeks ago had spread to her poor teeny tiny. Unfortunatly by the time they got out of urgent care it was too late to fill the prescription. In less than 4 hours she has to be up to watch the ex-boss's daughter's kids because she has a job interview. She contemplates going to sleep but the insomnia, ever constant, won't let her. Her mind won't slow down enough for sleep to come. If he was here I might be able to sleep. Mostly because he's the prominent reason I can't. He's not there to ease her troubled mind because she doesn't know where he is. Maybe I am obsessing but I can't help it...that's what I do. She decides she might as well try to catch some shut eye before the hellions come to reign. Try being the operative word.
Having slept a few hours she woke up in a bad mood and decided she was done with worrying about the remote thief. She gathered up all the stuff of his she could find and put it on the chair in the living room. She is tired of him telling her one thing and him doing something totally different. It upsets her and she just doesn't want to do it anymore. She'll miss the sex but she'll live. Sex isn't everything. If it was she wouldn't be kicking him to the curb.
But later that day she got a message from him saying he was sorry he didn't come back because he's a mommas boy so of course she caved. She decides that kicking him out is a little harsh. Not only that but she doesn't want to kick him out she was just cranky this morning and he made her mad by not being there. The roomie was begging her to just tell him to fuck off.

12-13-06

She cuddles with his pillow, silently cursing him for not being there again. She's depressed and lonely. Not to mention horny as hell. She had a conversation with him earlier and he told her he'd text her roomie's phone if he wasn't going to show up. She told him the roomie was at her mom's and she wasn't sure if the roomie would even be home that night. He asked her how he should tell her then if he wasn't coming and she popped off with the same way you always do...by not showing up at all. She wants to cry but she's not sure she can. She is listening to the "Depressed" playlist and slowly working herself up. The teeniest tiny squirms around in her bed making little noises as she's writing and she prays in her head that the teeniest tiny stays asleep. It's only an hour after midnight and she feels like she needs to sleep but the mind again won't let her. It's unlikely he's going to show up at this hour so again she is disappointed. If only I had a bowl. I'd be a little happier. Life sucks for her unfortunatly so she decides that sleep will have to do.

Boredom

So i've been sitting at bree's for the past few hours doing laundry. I'm so fucking bored. Thank god I have my computer. I figured i'd just hang out on my bloggins since i found this nifty little gadget thingy. The girls are upstairs "getting married" as little girls sometimes do. Not sure if they are marrying each other or handsome imaginary boyfriends.